Steep Into a Moment
“Can I give you a foot massage?” I asked Waliya as she snuggled into her pink blanket. “Of course!” she said with excitement, her eyes full of anticipation. Her tiny feet started twinkling even before I touched them, and I wondered why I hadn’t thought to do this little act of love a lot more often. I read Surah Al-Mulk in a slow, low tone as I always do, and took hold of her right foot, feeling each toe, pressing her soft heels with my chapped fingers that would beg me for a moisturizer if they could speak. She didn’t notice my fingers, all she felt was my love as she asked, “Mama, we can do this every night?” and I nodded with a resounding yes as I continued to recite. She’s grown more than a well-watered tree in the last three years. It’s hard to believe she is the same, helpless little being I held in my arms the day I became a mother, not truly knowing the full meaning of what that meant at the time.
Alternating between massaging her feet, I imagined the days when I’d massage my own mothers’ feet, feeling the lines and wrinkles from years of standing strong, caring for our needs at home and raising my sisters in her special way.
Through the layers of uncertainty that came with a husband in need of cardiovascular surgery, she stood.
Through grieving the loss of her life in Pakistan and all that she sacrificed for her new life, she stood.
Through the fire at her Mina camp during the Hajj of ‘97, she stood.
Through making each day feel complete with reminders about Allah (swa) and His Messenger (saw), she stood.
Through every stage of motherhood that challenged her and strengthened her, she stood.
As images of my mother flashed through my mind, I couldn’t help but feel my eyes welling up as I imagined my daughter holding my feet and massaging them one day, not out of need but pure love. My mother stood for me just as I now stand for my daughter, wishing to give her the world, to nurture her dreams and witness her growth as a testament to Allahs’ miracle right before my eyes.
My heart felt full, as I reached the last ayah of Surah Mulk I know by heart (still a few ayaat to get down!). I peeked over and saw Waliya’s head softly cocooned into her pillow, her little feet warm and calm after a thorough massage. Her calmness was contagious. I took in one last look at her before tip-toeing out of the room to my loft for a cup of tea.
Little did I know, my chamomile was steeping into my cup just as I was steeping into this moment, taking in every detail, wishing for more moments like this to return each day ahead.
Writing Prompts // Reflection
Practice SIFT-ing by noticing the Sensations, Images, Feelings, and Thoughts coming alive for you in a moment you wish to capture. This strategy is a helpful tool from the Mindsight paradigm used in counselling practices, and it can be equally helpful in accessing the words and stories brewing inside of you and around you.
Take a moment in the day and work through noticing the following:
Sensations include anything we feel in our bodies. Think of words like tender, expansive, light, relaxed, achy, shaky, tight, cloudy, open, energetic and so on. Really tune in to your body from head to toe, focusing on what you feel in your shoulders, neck, chest, back, and stomach.
Images can be things we are seeing in front of us right at the moment, or they can be flashbacks from segments of our memories or pictures and content we’ve consumed that show up in our minds during the day.
Feelings can come up in your heart and emotional state at any time and you can find an excellent list here to help describe a range of feelings. The sensations and images identified in the process above can bring up certain feelings for you in this exercise. Be present with them without judging them. You can choose to write them down in your journal if you want to expand on this further.
Thoughts are the meanings we choose to make from all the input above. Start noticing the pieces from all four elements and see what kind of story can emerge.
