Take a page
Before my daughter was born, I imagined myself being the kind of fairy mother who takes time to prep a warm bubble bath for her every night. In my imagination, I graciously washed her hair without a single ounce of shampoo dripping too close to her eyes while losing all sense of time as I lathered her soft skin with coconut oil and combed her silky brown hair to perfection before putting on a matching set of cute pink pyjamas.
There were no tears, or missing bath toys, or commands for can-you-please-remember-to-close-your-eyes-when-I’m-washing-the-shampoo-out?! Every step was simple and seemless.
It turns out, my husband is the one I was imagining. The first time he offered to take on bath nights, I remember hearing nothing but Waliyas’ laughter and his simple directives as he thoroughly, methodically, and efficiently bathed our little girl. She came out of her bath happy to follow every next step as he took exactly five drops of argan oil and massaged it lovingly into her hair while giving her the ultimate princess foot massage. It was a sight to behold.
I could chalk it up to, "oh, she’s just a daddys' girl,” but if I look beyond that, I can see the contrast Allah (swa) has placed between my husband and I. I’m the type to have several tabs open in my mind simultaneously as I do whatever task I’m physically doing while daydreaming about an idea that I don’t want to forget. This makes me rush through things without a sense of calm presence.
My husband on the other hand will take the slow and scenic route with just about anything he does. His lattes are always worthy of a photo with their perfect foamy peaks and just the right brewing time. His scenic illustrations bring me into the details in each picture. He’ll take the whole day to clean one room of the home while I’ll get through the whole house in half a day.
I admire his standards for taking things slow and doing everything with presence and ihsaan and it’s a page I want to take from his way of being when it comes to my own creative work.
I can give myself the time and space to slow down without feeling behind.
I can honour each moment with calm presence instead of rushed shortcuts.
I can go for “good enough” to get started on a project but gradually improve my thoroughness before hitting “done”.
I can view my tasks, hobbies, and ideas as a process with a series of steps without feeling pressured to do more and more and more just because it fills my need for doing.
Just as my husband is patient with the process it takes to bathe our little daughter with presence weaved into each step, I think I can apply the same idea to my own life and work and I have a feeling I’ll be better for it.
Writing Prompts // Reflection
Think about 1-2 of the closest people in your life. What are some of their traits, habits, and ways of being? If you could “take a page from their book,” what would that look like?
How can you channel a positive trait(s) of theirs and bring it into your life? What would that do for you?
Consider asking them the “how-to” behind the trait you want to adopt to understand the anatomy of it and any gaps within yourself that might be obstacles to overcome.
