The year you’ve had.
All I remember from this time last year is going through a steady rotation of unfashionable maternity clothes, packing my hospital bag over and over again, and reading my du’as as much as I was reading my hypnobirthing book.
Alhumdulillah for another year. A year in which I made a sudden decision to unpack my hospital bag and home-birthed my second baby, my sweet son Yahya. Holding him in my arms after sprinting through labour was a moment of pure heavenly bliss. The golden glow of my salt lamp hugged my cozy room through the long nights of walking, rocking, tucking, swaddling, praying, humming du’as and dozing off for just a few moments before the next feed and change. Smelling the sweet calendula cream as I massaged it over his soft skin and limbs, pausing at his chest to sense his heartbeat, steeping in the blessing of knowing the grandness of the gift I’d been given. Feeling the weight of his warm body growing heavier, and healthier with each month as I learned his rhythms and cues. Holding my husband’s hand and resting on him for the comfort and shelter I needed when no one could come to join us in our first month post-partum. Soon enough, the naps went from six to two. Yahya took notice of his limbs and his feet, and the belly roll followed. Now I can barely keep up with his turbo-charged crawls as he smiles back with drool dripping down his chin, three tiny white teeth poking out of his gums. Soon enough, wobbly feet and arms will walk towards us as he takes his first steps inshaAllah, not knowing our tears of joy will slip down our cheeks as we watch and take it in.
Alhumdulillah for becoming a family of four and adding on a furry member as well – our cat Turgut. He has been the sweetest gift from my dearest sister-in-law.
I saw my husband care for our family in a whole new way, with sleeves rolled up in service to help with all the diapers, bottles, pick-ups and drop-offs, bath times, and take-out days all to show me he and I are one team, even on days when I would be the one to forget.
We struggled with communicating and understanding each others’ temperaments, especially with parenting but we also read lots of beautiful stories as a family, enjoyed mini-getaways, and made a collective decision to homeschool Waliya, which has gone surprisingly well so far alhamdulillah. We celebrated a lovely backyard Spring party and hosted my parents and sisters who brought us the peace and comfort (along with heaps of gifts) we appreciated so much in the newborn phase. We made it out on beach trips to make the most of our 2.5 months of Summer in Canada, hosted dinners with friends, joined Kindergarten co-ops, and prayed every day for Allah (swa) to guide us in every step of our parenting and homeschool journey.
I fell in love with Waldorf education all over again, which gave me a creative outlet through making felted toys, water-colouring, story-telling, drawing, and finger-knitting with Waliya. It was as if each stitch helped me patch my weak post-partum body, mind, and soul back to health.
Meeting a like-minded friend in my neighbourhood brought my academic side back to life as we bonded over psychotherapy and all things Social Work. We brainstormed projects and debated perspectives while making rounds around the park as our girls played and giggled through games of tag, pausing to bring us freshly picked dandelions with delight.
I took my first workout class with my friend Jia and led a monthly Creative Mastermind group with two dear friends (@littlemuslimdolls and @twobabybearsco) and re-arranged three spaces in my home.
I also lost my patience far too many times, put out a fire, started seeing a naturopath, grieved and (finally) shut the door on an old friendship, and had a miserable road trip in November. I also stood in shock at the number of clothes I no longer enjoy wearing, didn’t drink enough water or read enough Qur’an or fast more than a handful of days this whole year.
But to end on the positive, I am still writing, reading, creating, and giving. I am still making du’as at times I know they’ll be accepted. I am still calling my sisters urgently mid-week for baking advice or venting or when I need a good laugh. I am still managing to make a decent healthy dinner most of the week. I am still raising and rising each day with hopefulness…after I’ve had coffee.
Writing Prompts // Reflection
As you think over the past year, what highlights come to mind? Which moments surprised you? Which moments brought you joy? Grief? Gratitude?
How many du’as were answered over this past year?
